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Josh Smith Article March 6, 2009

Posted by Jakeb in Blogs by Patrick.
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For those of you who don’t know me personally (probably no one reading this), Josh Smith is my favorite player in the league. I’ve followed him since his senior season at Oak Hill Academy, and I started following the Hawks soon after they drafted him in 2004. He soon became my favorite player in the league because of his athleticism (best or second best all around athlete in the league), his shot blocking (potential to be the greatest non-center shot blocker in NBA history) and his horrible decision making (just mind boggling). I’ve always been drawn to players and teams like this; loads of potential with obvious shortcomings. I love watching young players try to figure it out, and Josh is the most fascinating of them all. His ceiling is so high, but his problems, like his decision making and occasional lack of effort, is also very pronounced. But for the most part, I’ve been treated to a steady progression of improvement by Josh since his rookie season, capping with a borderline All-Star last year along with some highlight reel plays during the Hawks surprising run against the Celtics in the playoffs.

This year, however, has been a regression, to say the least. Josh started off fine, but then dinged his ankle early in the year, causing him to miss some time. He came back a little shaky, with his shot blocking taking the most noticeable dive. I didn’t think too much of it, his ankle was probably still bugging him and maybe he wasn’t too confident taking off on it. Things never turned around on that front, and he’s dropped off in basically every category but steals. The most bizarre thing has been his Shaq-like free throw shooting; a career 70% shooter suddenly dropping to 55% (including a recent stint where he missed 10 in a row). He looks like a shell of his former self, at least if you only looked at box scores.

I live in Southern California, so I very rarely get a chance to watch him play live. I watched both times the Hawks visited the L.A. teams (both at the actual game), along with the recent Cavs game on ESPN. And after watching these games, I can say that a lot (not all) of Smith’s decline can be attributed to the way he is used by head coach Mike Woodson. Most of Atlanta’s offense is run through Joe Johnson in the post; Josh is often left sitting in the weak side corner for a pass in case Joe gets doubled. This does two bad things. First, it takes Josh out of the post, where he is at his most effective. Second, it puts him in a position to hoist low percentage jumpers, since he’s often catching the ball wide open outside. While some of the pressure to should be on Josh to turn these shots down, I think more pressure is on the coach to not put his players in low percentage situations. On top of that, it takes Josh away from working the offensive glass.

Also, Josh is probably only behind LeBron in terms of finishing in transition. The Hawks also have Mike Bibby, who’s great at throwing passes on the run or shooting jumpers on the move. Joe Johnson, Al Horford and Marvin Williams are all above average athletes at their positions. So how do we take advantage of this unit? How about by playing at the 22nd fastest pace in the league (according to Hollinger’s Pace statistic). Atlanta basically walks the ball up, and I saw them turn down numerous running opportunities in the games I saw.

Mike Woodson was an assistant on the championship Detroit team a few years back, that’s how he landed his gig in Atlanta. His system is very similar to the one run in Detroit. The thing is that Pistons team had multiple effective post-up guards (Billups and Hamilton) and a big man who can space the floor with his shooting in Rasheed Wallace. This is another example of the stuff I talked about a few articles ago, about finding talent that matches a system or vice versa. The worst instances of coaching are forcing a structure on players who aren’t capable of playing in it. It cost Terry Porter his job (although the blame isn’t exclusively his) and should cost Woodson his at some point. However, since Atlanta is a young team and young teams have a habit of getting better, Atlanta has won more games each year since Woodon started coaching (not that win totals of 13, 26, 30, and 37 are the most dramatic improvement ever seen) there is really no risk of Woodson going anywhere. And until that happens, or he adjusts, Josh will likely continue to play below his ability.

A lot of this will come off as making excuses for Josh. That’s probably part of that, and I will admit that his lack of effort frustrated me at times against the Lakers and Cavs. However, the larger issue remains. Players play certain ways, and it’s up to coaches to find the most effective ways to use their players given how they are most effective. And walking the ball up and shipping him to the weak side corner like he’s Bruce Bowen doesn’t cut it. I guess the best I can hope for is an off-season trade to the Golden State Warriors (Andris Biedrins? How about Corey Maggette and Brandon Wright?) so Don Nelson can show the world what Josh can do.

Jesus Loves Your Money March 5, 2009

Posted by Jakeb in Blogs by Cate.
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Evangelical Christians and I don’t see eye to eye in a lot of things, not the least of which is whether Cate is going to hell (I’m in the “no” camp). But it’s more than that. It turns out we don’t even shop in the same places. There’s a whole cottage industry of businesses that cater specifically to evangelical Christians, allowing believers to balance their love of Jesus with their love of commerce. Intrigued, I trolled the Internet and found Christian Credit Counselors. Below is their pitch, unedited, from their website:

If you’ve have fallen behind on your bills or credit cards or struggle with high interest rates then get help from the Nations number one most respected debt management and credit counseling organization.

Let’s ignore the violence that’s been perpetrated against the English language and focus on the heart of the matter: Christian Credit Counselors is a dirty liar. I guarantee that a business run by Christians is not “number one” in any part of the financial services industry. Need proof? Christian Credit Counselors offers to pray for you if you fill out a handy-dandy prayer request form, which doesn’t bode well for how your refinancing is going to go. (My accountant usually holds off on appealing to a higher power until after we’ve finished the initial consultation.) Christian Credit Counselors will help you get rid of debt “in accordance with principles found in the Holy Bible,” which is a nice idea until you try to trade your daughter for next month’s car payment. (It won’t work; women depreciate faster than SUVs.) Christian Credit Counselors proves that you can theme a business after anything and still find a customer base. In fact, I’m going to start a company called Small Business Loans for Cubs’ Fans. Our motto? “We’ll get ’em next year!”

Then I found United Martial Artists for Christ, a non-profit, for-prophet organization. UMAC uses martial arts as a vehicle to show Christ’s love, because nothing says “turn the other cheek” like a foot rammed up your ass. According to its website, UMAC strives to create “unity between all Christian martial artists from all over the country, regardless of style.” Look how inclusive they are! It doesn’t matter if you do taekwondo or kung fu; as long as you believe in zombie Christ, you can beat the crap out of Christians. United Martial Artists for Christ is a totally heterosexual outlet for mustachioed men to watch boys of all ages wrestle each other into submission . . . to the Lord!

If the thought of women in tank tops makes you cringe, the Lord’s Gym is for you. Leotards and sports bras aren’t allowed, but you can take “praisercise” and “yo-god” classes, which I like to do before I “Je-blow-vah” my head off. My favorite thing about Lord’s Gym is the logo, which shows a ripped Jesus carrying a cross on his back. It’s as if they’re saying, “You too can experience the intense physical workout of dragging a giant crucifix to your own execution! Jesus died for our sins, but it’s a small price to pay for those lats.”

Feel the burn!

Feel the burn!

The “G” Word February 26, 2009

Posted by Jakeb in Blogs by Cate.
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I consider myself a left-wing liberal. I support universal healthcare. I protested against Proposition 8. Hell, I voted Democrat before it was cool. So imagine my surprise when a friend accused me of being a homophobe. Apparently, my use of the word “gay” to describe the last episode of Heroes was a smear against the entire gay community (as if Heroes wasn’t bad enough!). I later found out there’s a whole PSA campaign to get people to stop saying things are gay unless they mean happy or homosexual. I don’t want to be a dick unnecessarily, so I tuned in to see what all the fuss is about.

You know you’re in trouble when Wanda Sykes has a point.

Ok, I get it: using “gay” to say that something is stupid, ridiculous, or, well, gay is offensive. But here’s the problem: I like calling things gay. “Gay” gets across a whole host of connotations, and the open “-ay” sound at the end has tons of potential for humor if delivered with enough enthusiasm. There’s something delightfully juvenile about the word. Anything can be gay. Uggs? Gay. The cotton gin? Gay. Going to the Renaissance faire? Gaye gaye gaye. It doesn’t make any sense, and that’s the point. “Gay” is the go-to filler for situations when “your mom” and “that’s what she said” just won’t do. In fact, you can have a pretty meaningful conversation with just a middle-school vocabulary.

“You’re gay.”

“Your mom’s gay.”

“That’s what she said.”

“Wait, your mom says she’s gay?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s so gay.”

“That’s what she said!”

I’ve been calling things gay since 1989, before I even knew how babies were made (or not made). I had no idea people were walking around calling themselves gay. When I found out that was happening, I figured it was like women calling themselves “bitch” or white men calling themselves “Republican”—someone would write a song about taking the word back and then we’d return to normal. Losing “gay” feels like I’m losing part of my adolescence, but I guess it’s the price you pay to make Chris Crocker shut up.

I need an alternative. I need a pithy, monosyllabic word that tells people the noun it’s modifying is painfully lame, comically incompetent, and fingernails-on-a-chalkboard annoying. And then it hit me: Bush!

Black socks with sandals? That’s bush. Going to see a Coldplay concert? Way to go, bushlord! Assless chaps? Burning bush. I’ll make you a deal, gay community: I’ll stop using the word “gay” if you’ll help me get “bush” into circulation. We can make sure that years from now, when the Republican Party is just a ghost story to scare small children, people far and wide will still use the word “bush” as the default insult for Babylon 5 conventions and over-exuberant facial hair. Can we do it? Yes we can!

 

 

 

Trade Article February 24, 2009

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The NBA trade deadline turned out to be much ado about nothing. Rumors were swirling around that some huge names could be had on the cheap. From young building blocks (Tyson Chandler, Amare Stoudamire) to premier veteran players (Vince Carter, Shaq I guess), all sorts of players were rumored to be on the block. At the end of the day, very little action took place, with only two significant deals that weren’t primarily motivated by shuffling around the books. (more…)

Evolution Shmevolution February 19, 2009

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Last week was Charles Darwin’s 200th birthday, so I went to the Gallup website to find out what percentage of Americans believe in the theory of evolution. Here’s where we are today:

39% believe in evolution

25% do not believe in evolution

36% have no opinion either way

1% have no answer

According to this survey, a quarter of Americans don’t believe in evolution—just plain don’t believe it, dag nabbit! This I expected. Religious resistance to science dies hard, especially when science calls any religious metaphors into question. Just the other day I saw a brochure that defended geocentrism (talk about beating a horse that’s been dead for 400 years). Rejecting science is as American as steroids in baseball. (more…)

Trade Article February 16, 2009

Posted by Jakeb in Blogs by Patrick.
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With the NBA trade deadline approaching, two of the most valuable trade assets on the market, Amare Stoudamire and Shawn Marion, were rumored to be part of numerous deals. The two players are valuable for different reasons. Amare is the most talented player reported to be on the market by Suns team in midst of a fire sale, and Shawn Marion was the largest expiring contract (about $17 million) out there. Marion’s expiring contract would be valuable for any team either looking to re-build through free agency this summer or simply shed salary in these tough economic times. As of last week, one of these players was moved, while the other still awaits his final destination. I’ll look at the Marion deal more closely, and then try to speculate on possible destinations for Amare. (more…)

News Flash: Some “Yes on 8″ Supporters are Bigots February 12, 2009

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I was looking at the Google map showing all the “Yes on 8” donors so I can see which of my neighbors to avoid.* You might think this is sour grapes; after all, just because the Yes-people voted to ban same-sex marriage doesn’t mean they’re prejudiced against gays, and that’s the only real beef I have with them. In the democratic process, you have to give the benefit of the doubt, right? But for controversial social issues, sometimes you can read between the lines.

People often hold positions that are really a Trojan horse for other, more radical views. I know I do. For example, when I say I want to legalize medicinal marijuana, what I’m really saying is (more…)

Suns Article February 9, 2009

Posted by Jakeb in Blogs by Patrick.
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By now, what’s happened, and what’s in the process of happening in Phoenix, is well documented.  Coached by the innovative Mike D’Antoni and orchestrated by Steve Nash, the Suns introduced the most fan friendly style and cast of characters since the White Chocolate/C-Webb Sacramento teams some years back.  The team had a engaging, offensive minded style, (now commonly called “Seven Seconds or Less”, a book by the same name that documented the Suns under D’Antoni), that both fans and players loved.  The players assembled were a thrilling collection of talent, athleticism, and style.  There was Shawn Marion, playing every position on defense and scoring from all over the floor.  There was the young, precious Amare Stoudamire (more…)

Adventures in Crappy Self-Promotion: The Kate Gary Phenomenon February 4, 2009

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This week, I was going to talk about local donors to the “Yes on 8” campaign, but something else came up and the bigots will have to wait.

It all started when a high-school classmate emailed to tell me about my hilarious video doing stand-up on YouTube. I immediately smelled a rat: no one ever thinks my videos are funny. If cornered, my friends will usually acknowledge that they’d seen them before abruptly changing the subject. Intrigued, I did some investigating, which led me to make the following horrifying discoveries: (more…)

NBA Mid-Season Awards February 2, 2009

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Halfway through the season, time to give out some first half awards. Where would I put the individual awards at the mid-point? Let’s start with the most obvious.

MVP: LeBron James

Usually, the MVP is some mix of 1) Best Player on Best Team and 2) Lifetime Achievement Award. I think LeBron qualifies on both accounts (even if you want to argue about which team is the best, the Cavs have to be at least in the Top 3) and is the best player in the league to boot. LeBron is doing all the usual stuff—rebounding, making his teammates better, scoring at an efficient rate—but what is really scary is that he’s patching up whatever “weak” spots there were in his game. His man defense is starting to catch up to his ball hawking (one of the best in the league) and his weakside help defense (some absurd highlight in nearly every game now it seems). His jumper is now becoming a real weapon, and when that’s clicking he is simply unstoppable. Combine that with the Cavs record, tied with the Lakers for 2nd best in the league, and I think this has to be LeBron’s year.

Also in contention: Dwayne Wade, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard

Rookie of the Year: (more…)

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